Roots and Wings...I've always been a homebody, I've always needed a physical location to identify with as "home"... life is much easier to deal with - I'm much easier to deal with - when this is in place. My parents did an amazing job of giving me roots. They instilled in my sister and I a deep love for family...for each other...when we didn't have much we always knew we had each other and we knew how valuable that truly was. They instilled in us a deeply rooted faith in God...not religion and rules that we had to follow, but they modeled a genuine relationship with Christ and encouraged us in our own spiritual journeys.
But my parents also gave me wings... they let me "fly" when I needed to explore on my own. From the time I was a teenager, they encouraged me to make decisions on my own.
I will never forget one infamous mother/daughter chat:
Me: But Mom, why can't you just tell me what to do? It would be so much easier that way!
Mom: I could but then you'd never learn to make these decisions on your own.
Me: But it was so much easier when you just told me what to do!
Mom: Yes but if we let you make this decision on your own, and you make the wrong one, at least your Dad and I are here to help you pick up the pieces and help you make the right decision next time. If we made all your decisions for you while you lived at home, then when you leave and you make a poor decision, we won't always be able to be there to help pick up the pieces.
This may have been one of the top 5 significant life shaping conversations of my life...
And so when we made the choice that I'd be able to stay in Caronport to finish grade 11 &12 while they lived 2 hours away, they had prepared me to make those decisions on my own and allowed me to fly... and a few years later when I moved around the globe to China for almost a year and a half, again they allowed me to fly, to adventure, to see the world - both figuratively and literally.
Roots and Wings...
I think because my parents gave me such an amazing balance of roots and wings, this was an incredibly vital quality that I looked for in my future spouse. The best way I could articulate it was this: He would have be a special individual who would allow me to "fly" as far and as high during the day - let me adventure, be creative, try new things - but be secure enough that he would know that I'd come home to the "roots" he and I shared at the end of the day, all the while knowing that home with him was still by far my favorite place in the world to be. When I met Justin, I found my roots and he gave me wings. His love gives me the freedom to know I can explore, be as nerdy and creative as I want to be lol, but it's with him that I am home and it's with him that I share my roots. And the funny thing is, my desire to adventure solely on my own has shifted...my favorite adventures are usually the ones where we "fly" together...
Roots and Wings...
Several years ago Mark Harris released a song called "Find Your Wings". It's a prayer from a parent's heart, a prayer that that precious life you're holding in your arms would find their roots in a parent's love and out of that that that child would find the wings that have been created especially for them. I remember the first time I heard that song - it nearly stopped me dead in my tracks... it was truly the story of my parents and my relationship, it would be several years before I would reconnect with Justin but today it is our song, and one day, Lord willing, when we have children of our own, this will be my prayer for them, the song I will sing over them...
I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams
And that faith gives you the courage
To dare to do great things
I'm here for you whatever this life brings
So let my love give you roots
And help you find your wings
Roots and Wings...
Absolutely loved this post! You are such a wise woman with amazing things to say and share. I love reading your blog :)
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